Why Not Me?

"Why not me?"

This seems to be a question running through my head a lot lately, and it's a problem. If you have read my recent posts, you'll note that I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on life. This constant questioning definitely isn't helping that process.

Ever since I can remember, I don't ever recalling having a close guy friend, or even a group of guy friends in particular. Classmates/acquaintances are a different story...but I'm talking about a true, close and knows a ton about me, guy friend. Along with that statement, I can go ahead and point out I've, therefor, never had a true, serious relationship. Why?

I can go ahead and assume it has something to do with my lack of confidence for many, many years, but that can't be the only reason. Why does this topic seem so easy for so many of my close friends, yet still challenges me to this day? I'm a freshman in college. I was granted a fresh start this past fall. Has anything changed? Not one bit. Add new girl friends to the equation, and I'm pretty much standing in the same spot.

I don't think words can even begin to explain the frustration. I feel as though I have kept this all to myself for so long, and now I'm just sick of it. Why is happiness in relationships so easy for other girls to find? Why not me?

My confidence is growing each day, yet nothing seems to change elsewhere. Guy friends just fall into the laps of others, but when I truly sit down and think about it, I'm still lacking a single one. How can I change this?

It'll only ever change if I put effort into it and actually put myself out there. Something as simple as a friendship requires effort and time.

*end temporary emotional tantrum*

While little petty problems pop into my head, such as this one, from time to time, I need to keep in mind that I could have it much worse. I have GREAT friends, and I've also learned to distance myself from those who aren't so great. I'm perfectly healthy. I'm attending a wonderful university where I'm granted new opportunities and experiences everyday. I've found a true passion in my life, and have found yet another new family in the IUDM organization. I'd say I'm pretty set for right now. As soon as I stop thinking, looking, or worrying, something will work out for me.